Peaceful Bedtime: Priceless

For the last two years bedtime has been the most dreaded part of my day. Bedtime was always an hours-long ritual. We never had any luck if we tried to initiate bedtime before 9pm. Our techniques went from
feeding-to-sleep,
watching movies-to-sleep,
watching-boring-news-to-sleep,
reading-to-sleep,
and each technique included a long 30-45 minute stretch of laying with Grace and waiting for her to reach deep sleep before daring to leave her side. Then there was the inevitable one or two per night wakings. My one "bright side" was that Janson always did Grace's bedtime ritual. It was his daily "quality" time with Gracie. Realistically, it took so long it was our main daily family "quality" time. Janson often fell asleep while trying to get Grace to sleep, or I would quickly crawl in bed once she was asleep to get my own needed shut-eye. So that necessary kid-free time was nonexistent in our household.

I spent hours worrying about our bedtime struggles with Grace. I was always worried about her lack of sleep and apparent fear of falling asleep. I worried about how her sleep deprivation might be a stumbling block in her mental and social development. I worried about how the no kid-free time strained our marriage. I worried about reliving my mistakes on Mari.

And I especially worried about what I would do when Janson was away. Grace's bedtime was his mountain to climb, the burden he carried. I couldn't imagine going hour-by-hour, day after day without adult contact, without a peaceful naptime, and yet let the nights stretch on with Grace until 10pm. I knew I would need some downtime, even if it was alone time. When Janson left I truly feared bedtime. I had no idea how I was going to successfully get both girls to sleep on my own. I had nightmares of 11:00pm insanity with two little girls running around and yelling "Mommy! Mommy!"

Now enters my sister Sara. As Janson said, "We needed someone to come be the parent for us." Within a week Grace is going to sleep in her own bed (rather than the couch) and the bedtime ritual is taking a mere 30 minutes. Within two weeks the ideal situation has already been reached.

Bedtime last night:
- Bathtime, pajamas
- Milk sippy cup, three books
- Say "sleepy time!" and leave bedroom
- Grace falls asleep on her own! GLORY, GLORY, HALLELUJAH!!!!!!

This is an absolutely wonderful, amazing gift for a mother. I cannot begin to tell you how life-altering this feels for me. I do not fear bedtime anymore. Rather than wait for Grace's exhaustion, I initiate bedtime whenever it is best for me. Her bedtime ritual is so short (and yet she's still getting important "bonding" time, don't worry) that Mari can contently play in the livingroom while I read the necessary books and say the necessary words. I walk out of Grace's bedroom and into an incredible stillness. I feel a sense of empowerment, a feeling of freedom.

Don't get me wrong, I love my daughter to pieces. I love spending time with her, and that is probably how this whole mess started. But I know this is what is best for her, and definitely best for me. Now I can paint my toe-nails, read my scriptures, do some journaling or blogging, clean the house, do the finances, work on a craft, have an uninterrupted adult conversation, watch a good movie, or read an amazing book... without ignoring my daughter. I've always given myself these little "gifts" of the self, but in the past I've had to take away valuable mommy-daughter time to do so. Now all parties involved are pleased.

Big kudos to my sister for giving me this wonderful gift. Now can you come back for potty-training? :) Once again our parental-instincts are failing us.