The Stay Sane Part

If you've read my bio in the left-hand column, this post is connected to the "stay sane" part. More specifically, my not doing such a good job of staying sane.

Today Janson started a four-week rotation in Milwaukee. Luckily he can stay here and make the 40 minute commute everyday. I have avoided thinking about the months he will be living out-of-state. It was a 16-hour work day for him today, and it looks like he has four-more weeks of that schedule. Most likely several more months of that schedule, give or take a few hours. I feel for him being gone so much and spending those hours being physically and mentally exhausted. I have been spoiled because he only worked three days out of the last two weeks. Today reality set in, and I did okay until 8:15pm when both girls had reached their limit, along with their mother. Somehow we made it through the first three years of podiatry school, but now the last and hardest stretch is beginning. If I look ahead even two weeks from now I am overwhelmed- I can only think about today and tomorrow. I think I will gain a deeper appreciation for the many single parents out there, along with the military moms.

As I spend more time at home and less with Janson or adults in general, this blog will become more valuable. So this post is basically a preamble for the posts to come. My goal is to watch for, or even deliberately produce, moments of laughter in my day... even for the simple reason of writing it down here for others to enjoy. Being a mother can be hilarious, and I'm glad I can stay home and experience the moments of laughter with my children.

Music Review: Sondre Lerche

Last night we watched Dan In Real Life, and it gave me just the laugh I needed. I haven't really gotten into The Office, but after watching Steve Carell in this movie I'll try some Office DVD's. The real gem we discovered from the movie was the soundtrack artist: Sondre Lerche, a band from Norway. From watching the bonus features I learned that he'd often play live during scenes while the camera was rolling, rather than just add the music layer. That had to be cool for the actors to be able to hear the music live while they were acting their part. We're hooked and bought the soundtrack and other songs off iTunes. Grace likes dancing to their upbeat stuff (along with Will Smith, Rascal Flatts and Raffi, quite the variety). For those who have seen the movie, the soundtrack also has "Ruthie Pigface Draper" on it. I haven't quite figured out what sort of moment will call for that song, but it makes me smile just to think I have it in my iTunes.

Falling Bridges

Some may call me a bridge burner. I don't think I deliberately burn bridges, I just let them fall apart. Within the last six months I have been getting reacquainted with friends from my past via Facebook, blogs and email. Before this, my idea of staying connected with high school friends was asking my friend Brooke, about everybody. After graduating from high school I was ready for a change, and my friends can attest to the fact that I didn't look back. Somehow I felt that I had to leave the past behind in order to move forward, and sometimes you do. As I have learned of my friends' accomplishments, moves, and growing families, I feel some regret. Not too much, because I love where I am in life and what I am doing. But the seven-year journey since high school could have been more fun had I stayed in touch with the people who remind me of easier days. With another move coming up next year, I see this as a second chance to prove I can keep up with my friendships. Here's to a future of more intact bridges.

Movie Review: Enchanted

Since I just did a negative movie review, I thought I'd write-up a quick positive one. We just watched the long-awaited Enchanted. Every time Grace has seen the preview on her other movies she gets excited. I meant to take her to the theater to see it, but then I had a baby or something. :) I thought she'd lose interest when the animated part ended, but she watched the entire movie with a look of awe. I don't know if it was the beautiful princess, Patrick Dempsey, or the talking chipmunk. We probably won't buy it, but it was the perfect afternoon entertainment for a little girl with the sniffles.

Movie Review: I Am Legend

This is belated for you theater-goers, but I just watched I Am Legend via my Blockbuster Online queue. This reveals how often I casually talk with theater-goers (aka the pre-parents, teens, or parents who actually get babysitters and go on dates), but I hadn't heard anything about this movie before viewing. Will Smith's work reminded me of Tom Hank's acting in Cast Away. Poor guy didn't have many actors to feed off of, besides the dog. I kept thinking in my head, "This is going to be a great movie... this is going to get great." And then it ended, before it ever got great. Or at least great enough for me. The plot was a crazy idea and I lost a bit of sleep afterwards, but I still feel unfinished. About recommending it to others, I'm undecided. I think you should still see it (if you're ok with vampire-type creatures), but be prepared for an abrupt ending. Oh, and don't watch it with your two year old in the room. That was not one of my smart decisions as a mother.

Gifts From My Daughters

Grace: a dance together around the living room to the Beatles

Mari: an 11-hour night of sleep and, more importantly, the beautiful smiles afterward

Answer Tips

Double-click on any word in my text. Come on, I dare you. It doesn't have to be a link. Did you do it? Did you see what happened? Well, hopefully a bubble popped up telling you the definition of the word you clicked on. Since I have a degree in English I have to say I get a bit excited about words. I'm not saying that I use such big words on my site that you will need to look them up. But I do read other people's blogs who could use this, because their vocabulary is above and beyond my own. Just wanted to let you all know (whoever "you all" is... I don't really know) about this new feature I added to my blog.

Private vs. Public

Yesterday I made the mistake of reading the first couple chapters of Gone Baby Gone by Dennis Lehane. Ben Affleck directed a movie by the same name (based on the book). It's about a cute four year old girl who gets kidnapped. You can imagine how such reading can affect a mother of young children. It will now take me several weeks to cure my paranoia. I show very little humility in admitting that my children are beautiful! And I'm sure I'm not the only one. I know I am not the only mother who feels this way about their own children, so you can think I'm prideful if you want. I have yet to meet the woman who doesn't think their child is wonderful, although I hear they are out there.

I am fine with flaunting my children's darling images and talents online, but now I am wary of strangers' eyes. Before opening this book I had already been toying with the idea of making my family's blog private rather than public. My creative imagination has plotted a plethora of ways the unkind but intelligent stranger could dabble in stalking or identity theft via the innocent blogs of families. I feel that I have done a decent job of keeping Holmfeet void of elements that could be handy to the unkind. But now I will be doing my own blog "deep-cleaning." Our ultimate purpose of the family blog is to share pictures and videos with family. Since I am hoping to keep the blog user-friendly, and not all of our family have a blogger account, I'm avoiding the move to private. For those that frequent our family blog, feel free to cast your vote via comments.

Tribute to Technology

I love technology. I love innovations that enable us to focus our time and energy on what is important to us. I am grateful for a God that supports a forward-moving people. Seeing that He regards the responsibility of parenthood as one of our most important roles, it seems likely that He had a hand in many technological advances that assist parents. So far in my mothering career I have been unsure how to use technology to be the best mother to my children. I will always be working towards a healthy balance of television and computer time in my home. With the birth of Mari I have begun to appreciate what I call "God-given inventions" that can help parents make it through life: bottles, formula, pacifiers, disposable diapers and sippy cups. I have read enough "hate" literature on most of these products. Here is some love literature! :) I am grateful that these inventions have enabled me to:

1. Go to the temple.

2. Magnify my church calling.

3. Focus on both of my children.

4. Get enough sleep to care for my children more safely and patiently.

5. Eat a little less chocolate! :) (see previous post)

4. Support my husband in his role as father.

That said, I could write an entire post on the benefits and joys of breastfeeding that I experience. The medical professionals are doing a fairly good job in that area, though. May we all enjoy those things in our lives that enable us to be the best parents we can be!

Soothing Chocolate

I ate an entire small bag of M&M's on my way home from the grocery store today. And not just the plain M&M's, but the Dark Chocolate Peanut M&M's. I blame my friend Julianne for introducing me to these. Mari had been exerting her "death scream" (mentioned in a previous post) for a good 45 minutes and I was at my wits end. I know I am not the only parent who gets very stressed out when their baby is screaming and you can't soothe them. By the time I got to the check out I was going crazy trying to think of ways to soothe my child. I grabbed the chocolate and flung it on the conveyer belt. I was horrified (and sick to my stomach) when I realized the bag was gone and I wasn't even home yet. It was then I realized my warped reasoning: if I can't soothe my baby then I will at least try to soothe myself. So I ate chocolate. Holding the empty bag in my hand I realized change was necessary. My two options: the girls never cry again or I confiscate chocolate. Since only the latter is a realistic option, wish me luck!
P.S. I would also love to be reassured to hear that I am not the only one turning to food for comfort, although the lack of reassurance would definitely motivate me towards change.

Quote On My Wall

"Families mean work, but they are our great work- and we are not afraid of work."
Sis. Julie B. Beck

This one is hanging above my sink, for obvious reasons. Check here for a previous post explaining why I am blogging these quotes.

Daily Universe Letters to the Editor

Last night we rediscovered the letters to the editor in the daily BYU newspaper, the Daily Universe. Since they're available online, I immediately bookmarked their site for future laughs. You may need experience at BYU to appreciate the letters, but I think any experience as a student would qualify you to relate with some of the ridiculous complaints published. It is hilarious to read well-written, witty, passionate complaints and opinions about mundane topics like library noise level, locker rooms, and the key which the Cougar fight song is sung in. While I was a student at BYU I vowed off reading that section of the paper (and most others), but now as an alum it makes for fairly entertaining reading. Just thought I'd pass the link on in case it can give someone else a good laugh.

Mr. Mom

Today was one of those days when I think that motherhood is the hardest job on the planet. I was feeling frustrated and overwhelmed by noon. My husband came home to clutter and craziness.

Tonight Janson watched the girls for five hours while I did temple baptisms with the youth. That is the longest yet I've been away from Mari. By the time I reached the three hour mark, I was sure Janson was at home going crazy. Mari got her two month shots today so she was unusually cranky. Grace, also, has recently been perfecting her art of tantrums. For the last two hours I sporatically tried to call my husband, with no response. I took this to mean that he was too overwhelmed to answer the phone. To my surprise I came home to find a quiet infant, sound-asleep toddler, calm husband, clean living room and spotless kitchen. Wow! As I surveyed the kitchen I couldn't help but question my capabilities as a mother. Mr. Mom obviously has some things figured out that I don't.

Craisins and Almonds and Chicken, Oh My!

Last night for dinner we had one of our favorite summer dinners. We were hoping warm weather would make an appearance, too! This is a Taste of Home recipe, I love their magazine and website. It was such a nice change from our usual winter stews and casseroles, I thought I'd share the fun:

cubed chicken breasts
diced celery
raisins
dried cranberries
sliced almonds
mayo
chopped onion
pepper, salt
(croissants)

Time: It's All Relative

Time is changing for me, but it started long before this weekend's change of clocks. I can tell you the exact minute that time suddenly sped up. 6:58am on January 11th, 2008. That is the minute I remember looking at the clock and thinking, "This might be a contraction." Ever since my labor started for the birth of Mari, time seems to be going twice as fast. The labor and delivery of Mari went remarkably fast, and the stay in the hospital was short. I needn't explain the dazy confusion of Mari's first few weeks at home. Since then I have noticed that an hour now only feels like a half hour. The time is speeding by. I have to give myself twice as much time to change diapers, get ready to leave the house, make dinner, or run errands. One night of sleep just seems like a long nap. Mari was born in January and it is March now, where did February go?

I was thinking about all of this as I drove to visit teach a mother with six kids. I thought about the math. If an hour suddenly seems like a half hour with two kids, what does it feel like with four or five kids? I emphasize that I thought about the math, because I couldn't quite get the division right. I was a little awed to think of this mother's stamina and time-management skills. Later I voiced a bit of this to her and her response was reassuring. She said, "In many ways your stage of life is the busiest. Your kids are all at home, all the time. There is no real break. Now I only have one child at home and my days are relatively relaxing. My afternoons and evenings are exhausting with driving kids from one practice to another, but then I can recuperate the following morning." Whew! What a good thing to hear.

The fast speed of passing time will come in handy when Janson is out of town. Then I will be glad to see that one week has already passed, and there are only three more to go before he comes back. Although I know there will be many three o'clock moments of weariness when I wonder if the day, the week or the month will ever end. Perhaps I should start a 3 O'Clock Support Group- we can all call each other around that time to give each other a boost, or just a laugh. Or even better, I'll schedule a "chocolate break" at just such a time. Then I will want the moment to last forever.

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A Change of Mind

It seems like parenthood has the power to change personality. Below is a list of things that I used to dislike or downright hate, and having become a mother I now like or downright love. For many of these, it is amazing that I have made a complete turn-around. I wasn't just indifferent towards these items, they really bothered me. And now I don't just hold a tolerance towards them, but I actually like, or in some cases, can't live without them.

1. The color pink
2. Disney- movies, characters, stores
3. Fast food playplaces
4. Mini-vans
5. Goldfish crackers
6. Anti-bacterial hand lotion
7. Blogs
8. "Girls time"- outings, activities, nights
9. Naps
10. Subtitles
11. Self-help and how-to books
12. Bags with many pockets
13. Drive-thru or to-go restaurant food
14. Electronic keyboards (with headphones!)

I'd love to read what people would put on their lists...

Murdocks and Sons: The Biggest Mess Ever (maybe)

Murdocks and Sons: The Biggest Mess Ever (maybe)

This post made by my sister-in-law is just too good to keep to myself. Em- it will just add to the sympathetic mommy/daddy readers out there.

Spiderwick & Maniac

I just finished these books in the last couple days. I do read adult fiction, but these both just happen to be juvenile. Still great writing.


The Spiderwick Chronicles Book 1: The Field Guide by Tony DiTerlizzi & Holly Black
An advantage to rarely seeing movies in theaters: I have plenty of time to read the book before seeing the movie (or not seeing the movie, if I dislike the book). Upon finishing this book I have decided I'm a fan. For my situation it's perfect. Each book is short and entertaining, so I have time to finish it in my "free" time and not lose track of the plot. I am a very recent convert to fantasy, but I love the "escape" it gives me from the real world. This book has a Narnia feel to it, but I think the series unique characteristics let it stand on its own. Stay tuned for the next books.


Maniac Magee by Jerry Spinelli
It has been over a dozen years since I last read this classic, so I conveniently couldn't remember the plot. All I could recall was that the main character was a homeless boy. I figured the book would be depressing, and lately I have been putting down and shutting off depressing books and movies. But I felt that Spinelli kept this book light-hearted, a real feat considering the subject. He also knows how to create an image using words in a fresh, unusual way. Here's one sentence I liked:
"During the night, March doubled back and grabbed April by the scruff of the neck and flung it another week or two down the road." (Spinelli, 149)
Hopefully that doesn't happen this year!

Quote On My Wall

With another General Conference coming up, the random quotes taped on my walls will most likely be replaced by new ones. I'd like to journal the ones I currently have up, so I might post them every once and a while. Sometimes I debate about cluttering the walls with these, but if one motivates me when I'm feeling down and out, it has fulfilled its purpose. This one is taped to my coat closet door:

"I believe we can raise righteous children anywhere in the world if they are taught religious principles in the home."
Elder Quentin L. Cook, Live By Faith and Not By Fear, October 2007

My Superman

I tried to give my husband the silent treatment. I lasted 20 hours, 18 of which were spent sleeping or he was at work. It is pretty ridiculous when you're the only two adults in the house. After spending the day with my beautifully innocent daughters, listening to some uplifting music, and gaining some sense, I was able to reassess what I believed to be his "crime" deserving of such treatment: being overly helpful. Oxymoron, I know. Within six hours of getting home from work yesterday, my husband tidied up the house, changed a number of diapers, unloaded clean dishes, loaded crusty dishes, took out a couple loads of trash, went to the store and managed the kids while I shopped, lugged groceries and diaper boxes up two flights of stairs, got dinner so I wouldn't have to cook, bathed a child, and got my anti-sleep child asleep. Ok, so maybe I'm omitting some dialogue, but nothing extremely significant. I am obviously not the most grateful wife. Basically, I think my husband is absolutely amazing and somewhere along the way I get jealous of his Superman abilities. I watch him go, go, go and do it all, and wish I could do it all too. One day at a time, that's all I can give. Luckily I have him to help me where I fall short. Isn't that how it's supposed to work? So, thank you Janson for all you do. I love you.

RSS Feeds

I love RSS feeds. When Janson first tried to convert me my instinct thought was, "Not another one of these techno things that is supposed to make life easier but is really just too complex." I am now completely converted. For those unfamiliar with RSS feeds, it allows me to "subscribe" to a website and then I am notified when a new post is added. So, when I go to check my email I also find out if any of my family or friends (or websites like LDS News, etc) have a new post. I used to go down my list of blog links every day to see if anyone has new posts, and usually there were just two or three blogs with updates. Now it's done for me when I check my email, which is something I frequently do anyways. The world wide web can do some amazing things.

Professional Hair Cut?

I don't think I'll be going back to this hair stylist. Just look at those bangs. The day after this butchering I bought a curling iron to manipulate her hair into a state of decency.

Diaper Changes in Pizza Hut

We are on a 5.5 hr drive. Mari has been exerting her "death scream" for 20 long minutes. My eyes are peeled for a dinner location. I see Pizza Hut and we decide to make a quick dinner stop. Dinner goes reasonably well. We found ourselves with an overly chatty and interested table neighbor, but that seems to happen often when you haul a newborn around. As we are making a mad dash for the car with shivering girls, Janson says, "Didn't Mari have a poopy diaper?" Mari only poops every 3 or 4 days, but I play on the side of caution and run back in to the restroom changing table.

Meanwhile... Grace hears this and immediately says, "Poopy, poopy!" Janson runs in and waits for me to finish with the diaper bag. Before getting around to Mari's diaper, I hear Janson and Grace outside the restroom, so I walk out to be informed about Grace's diaper situation and the need for diapers and wipes. Now forgetting to play on the side of caution, I assume Mari isn't too messy, simply pull out one diaper for Mari, and give the rest of the diaper bag with diapering supplies to Janson.

As I put Mari on the changing table I feel warm squishiness and verify that, yes, she has filled her diaper and the "squishiness" is getting all over her clothes. Without the diaper bag I have no new clothes or wipes for her. So I stand outside the men's restroom waiting... and waiting... for Janson to finish with the diaper bag.

Meanwhile... Janson gets a fresh diaper on Grace. While he cleans/packs up, Grace's sly self decides to finger all the urinals and then wipe her face with her hands. Janson catches her and gives her a good, hard scrubbing with soap. He walks out, sees me holding a poopy baby, hands over the diaper bag, and goes to get the car warm and ready.

For the second time I lay Mari down on the changing table, get her filthy clothes off along with the dirty diaper. As I am trying to put the clean one on, she decides to pee all over it, getting it slimey and sticky before it's on. At this point Mari's favorite and main blanket is wet and poopy. I deem Mari's new diaper no longer fresh enough for use, and go searching for another diaper. No more diapers are to be found in the bag. The rest of the diapers are out in the car, Mari has no clothes or diaper on, and her blanket is useless. In other words, I cannot very well run out into the cold and get a new diaper from Janson.

Meanwhile... our overly chatty neighbor from dinner walks into the bathroom. While I had very recently been relieved to be walking out of the restaurant and away from her, I was now overjoyed to see her. I awkwardly asked her to walk outside the restaurant to Janson and get a new diaper. Kind strangers are blessings! She came back with three fresh diapers, and this time I let her chat all she wanted.

I get Mari in a fresh diaper and pull out her extra set of clothes. Keep in mind that these have been in the diaper bag for a few weeks now waiting for just such an emergency, so it is crumb-covered from Grace's snacks, and is now a size too small. As I pull it on her, I realize that these little PJ's do not fit so well with Mari's splinted/casted foot. I do the best to zip and button, but one leg and her torso are still completely exposed to the elements.

At this point, I give up, stuff everything in my bag, do my best to cover her with the (pooped and peed on) blanket, and make a mad dash back to the car. We get her in the car, she is not properly dressed, meagerly covered with a new blanket, and not happy. Still, I get in the car and say, "Just drive!" I am ready to be home. And I forgot to wash my hands.

A Blog of One's Own

I feel like I have taken over our family blog, "Holm Feet," and that it's starting to all be from my point of view. Every day I think of a fun post I would like to add, but then feel like it would be more appropriate in my own blog rather than the whole family's. As the description indicates, this will probably give you a peek into the story behind the story of Holm Feet posts.