I have taken over many tasks Janson usually does. To my usual chores I now add trash take-out, sweep/mop the kitchen floor, vacuum, and clean the bathroom sink (Yup, he did a lot). There are a few areas where I have failed miserably; where I haven't even tried to fill his void.
1. Putting ink in the new, fancy printer: The "needs new ink, cannot be used" light is currently flashing in my face as I write. It has been doing so for three weeks now.
2. Drain ground beef: Yup, that's right. I only drain ground beef when Janson is around to lift the heavy pot. I can just feel that fat pumping through my arteries. To spare you all, maybe I won't have dinner guests while Janson is away. No, I think I'll take the plunge and attempt the draining next time. Wish me good luck, I'm afraid of those nasty steam burns.
3. Checking car tires and putting air in them: I drove over some amazing potholes, and kept saying for two weeks, "I should check these tires." Technically, this void actually has been filled thanks to Dad. He taught Sara and I the valuable life lesson of tire-checking and then putting air in the tires. That is, after we accidentally let a bunch of air out of one of the tires (when we thought we were filling it up) and then drove through town with it dangerously low.
f4. Sacrament meeting survival (aka Make-it-through-the-entirety-of-sacrament-meeting-without-giving-up-and-retreating-to-the-foyer): This is another area that I tried, but I didn't try all that hard. In future situations I'll probably enlist the help of a young woman or friend. Grace simply does not know how to whisper.
5. Staying Sane: I can't explain it very well, but I feel imbalanced without Janson around. I wear a cloth of sanity that masks my truly frantic, restless, frustrated, partly insane self. My sister can attest to the fact that this cloth of sanity is gradually becoming more threadbare as each hour of the day progresses. With every two year old whine, with every pooped or peed on outfit, with every public toddler tantrum, my calm confidence wanes. Well, I think "calm" exited the building about two weeks ago. (The adjoining picture shows Grace crammed into the baggage compartment of the stroller. This was of her own doing, and she is having a royal tantrum. I took the picture to show Janson what fun he was missing.)
Overall, thank goodness for Sara's constant companionship, and Janson's nearing arrival. I'm learning that one truly cannot do it alone.
2 comments:
Hurrah for you and Sara-- you have nearly made it! And with grace (no pun intended) and humor. Sure you feel insane sometimes-- what mother of a two-year-old doesn't? I'm really proud of how you've done-- i felt quite selfish having Janson on Mother's Day. I had a friend once who suggested that every mother should have an alarm clock that would project the words, "This, too, shall pass," on the bedroom ceiling. You're just about to the end of this externship, and a good thing- maybe you're just about to the end of your rope!
I hear you lynn...life just isn't the same without them around but we wouldn't want it any different would we? This time too will pass and you will think dang I was so strong for having my husband gone one/two months at a time! I think that since I made it through the last two year of med school and the first year of residency (well, almost) that I can and capable of doing anything I want. I laugh at my sisters whose husband will leave them for two or three days and they complain more than my five year old on any given day. I pride myself in the fact that I did that and I am sure you will look back later and think the same thing...you don't forget how hard it was b/c I sure haven't but I think it shaped and molded me in ways I couldn't understand then. Good luck and we are thinking about you and know that Janson comes homes soon so enjoy him while you can.
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